[Most Recent Entries] [Calendar View] [Friends]
Below are the 9 most recent journal entries recorded in
Lindsey Mitchell Kane, EVP of Content Dev, CNN-A's InsaneJournal:
| Monday, August 9th, 2010 | |
| 8:59 pm | 008; Video Post [The screen, for once, is not filled with Lindsey's smug grin, but instead the face of a young boy, staring expectantly into the lens. The frame wobbles precariously in the child's hands, giving a better tour of the ceiling above him than his actual face.] I can do all my ABCs. [The boy proudly professes, allowing a long pause during which he seems to have forgotten the screen, before loudly breaking out into an off-key demonstration.] Aye bee cee dee ee eff gee hache eye jay kay elenemopee-- [The performance is cut short by a far more familiar - and less adorable - voice, cutting sharply in.] Jonas! Is that my-- Daddy's iHolo is not a toy. Give me that. [The screen fumbles roughly for a moment and Lindsey's annoyed expression is briefly framed, before clicking off.] |
| Wednesday, July 28th, 2010 | |
| 6:25 pm | 007; Video Post [The picture opens with Lindsey, leaning back comfortably in a desk chair in what is likely his home office. The window behind him shows the blistering sunshine of July, but the exec is wearing a goose down winter parka. He smirks benignly at the camera, greeting the audience with a mock-cheers from his steaming mug of coffee.] Really nothing like going a little crazy with the aircon when the heat gets intolerable, is there? The tech they built into this place is ridiculous, I tell you - I think I'm on the cusp of being able to see my own breath. Brr! [insert indulgent shiver here] Right then, what was I going to say? Oh yeah, the Fall lineup. I got to take a look at some of the new shows our affiliates have on the docket, and you, my darling public viewing audience, are about to be spoiled stupid with quality programming. There's a reason we axed stuff like that Chinese knockoff, and it's because we're sort of overrun with top shelf, grade A made-in-America entertainment as it is. New seasons of all your returning favourites, plus some new series to make Abandoned! look like a goddamn puppet show. And I fucking love Abandoned, okay? [Lindsey closes off with his trademark smirk] So there you have it, kids. Start getting excited, because it's gonna be the best goddamn season ever. [his last words come with a slight wisp of visible breath] Oh shit! There it is! |
| Wednesday, July 21st, 2010 | |
| 2:12 pm | 006; Blog Post Yet another poor, defenseless piece of technology falls victim to the extremist actions of these tyrannical Terrorist Luddites. Hide your vending machines. Lock up your hovermowers. Your precious electronics could be next! |
| Thursday, July 1st, 2010 | |
| 1:30 pm | 005; Blog Post Egypt? Really, G20? You're replacing America with a country who's claim to fame is three giant fucking triangles in the middle of the desert? You think they can fill these shoes? Sounds like denial to me, which isn't just a-- well, I don't need to tell you that, do I? |
| Sunday, May 16th, 2010 | |
| 3:22 pm | 004; Video Post [The picture opens with Lindsey standing in some sort of high-tech media centre, filled with people in ties and headsets hustling back and forth between monitors and phones. Despite the manic hustle Lindsey seems perfectly relaxed in his power suit, smiling smugly at the camera.] Now this? [He jerks a thumb over his shoulder to indicate the dozens of screens behind him, displaying the feeds from various camera crews covering raids all throughout New York. There are fights, chases, detainees, and all sorts of excitement from floor to ceiling.] This is entertainment. |
| Friday, May 7th, 2010 | |
| 6:33 pm | 003; Video Post [The video opens with Lindsey, dressed in an expensive power suit, walking through what is likely the bustling bullpen of CNN-A. He walks with a briskness that causes the small team of assistants and supplicants to scurry awkwardly, each buzzing with questions in need of answering. Lindsey regularly interrupts his own narrative to answer or comment offscreen voices. Judging from the angle, there's another assistant holding his iHolo hurrying backwards in front of him.] -- with the refugee bit, then the iHolo leak. I don't care, throw something about that dinosaur thing they cloned in there - oh, and the art bit. Run the caption 'America Takes Our Fucking Art Back, Guggenheim Whines'. [His attention turns to the camera with his typical shit-eating smile] Oh, hello there. I just wanted to drop a little PSA knowledge on you unwashed mouth-breathing masses out there, clogging up my iHolo with your bitching and moaning about the Batman reboot. Now, I don't want to be accused of insensitivity, so I just want to warn you up front that this might not be pleasant for you to hear, okay? Brace yourselves. [He draws in a slow, patronizing breath, as if to give his audience time to bolster themselves. When he continues he speaks in a slow, pointed tone with generous gesticulation, as if to a five year old.] Nobody cares what you think. Nobody. Okay? I know you're pissed because Batman is probably the closest thing you've ever actually had to a best friend or whatever, but he's a commodity, and the people that own him? They get to call the shots. And you know why? Because all of you - no matter how much you whinge - are going to shell out your precious money to go see anything about him no matter what. We could put him in drag and have him dance the merengue for two hours and you'd still camp out for two days to see a midnight screening. Okay? Okay. [He exhales heavily, as if earnestly relieved, and speaks to someone off camera.] Jesus, I needed that. Okay, what's next? C'mon, hurry the fuck up, you - what do you want? Yeah, I've seen the numbers on the show, I don't care. Apparently foreigners own television, who the fuck knew? It won't last. I don't want to hear--" |
| Tuesday, April 27th, 2010 | |
| 3:05 pm | 002; Video Post [The video opens with Lindsey in a plush terrycloth robe, with the ornate logo of the Cardinal Hotel embroidered on the breast. Judging from the lavish background, he's in one of the institution's finer rooms.] Welcome, friends, to a little slice of paradise in the sky. Or, more accurately, on the island. Nothing like a little bit of proper pampering to give a man a renewed lease on life. Not that women seem to have any particular problem enjoying some pampering of their own, as you can see. [The view swings around to reveal Lindsey's wife Vivian in a similar robe, laying on a masseuse table and in the midst of a Swedish massage. Upon realizing she's being filmed she scowls and waves the camera away. Lindsey turns it back upon himself, holding a chocolate covered strawberry in his free hand.] Not bad, right? All the comforts of home, and a whole lot of extras. [He brandishes the strawberry before taking an indulgent bite, letting the camera pan quickly over an excessive room service smorgasbord of fruits, coffee, chocolate and other such luxuries. The camera flips sharply back to Lindsey, licking some juice from his fingertips.] Oh yeah, and one other thing - a little message to all those weasely expats dropping their citizenship out in the middle of Los Buttfuck, El Nowhere - this is what you're giving up. [Lindsey reaches out to dramatically pull aside a set of heavy drapes, revealing a cinematic view out over Central Park. The video was timed perfectly for sunset over the city skyline, reminiscent of a time when Manhattan was a bustling home to millions. Lindsey's head peers into the view, smiling smugly.] That, my friends, is a view. Now if you'll excuse me, I have business to attend to. [His attention turns off camera, his tone becoming sharp.] Alright Sven, take five. Time for some American stress relief... |
| Tuesday, April 13th, 2010 | |
| 11:26 am | 001: Blog Post Goddamn if the wife and I aren't booked into the Cardinal for the moment they open this week. I may have lost my parkview for the sake of all these poor lost refugees, saint that I am, but if I can park my ass back on Manhattan with a full spa package and mints on my pillow, you'd damn well better believe I'll be there with bells on. |
| Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 | |
| 5:18 pm | profile; |
